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It was a February day in India when a couple met for the first time. It was an arranged marriage. It was the second marriage for both husband and wife. The husband had two girl children from his first marriage. What this new wife did not know at the time, was that he had been investigated by Child Services in New York for injury to one of his daughters. The new wife was full of excitement. She had no children and was looking forward to beginning her new life as a wife and mother. However, that first day that they met, she was shocked by the husband groping her when they had not discussed this type of contact and did not even know each other. Still, she hoped that it was just a misunderstanding. The husband returned to New York to work as an insurance claims adjuster. The wife followed in September of 1991. In March, the wife’s father co-signed and later paid for a mortgage on a house in Staten Island for the new family.
The new wife describes her relationship with her husband during that time as a “Husband and Wife” type of relationship and never one that involved love. The wife became a nurse and bore her husband two children, the first child is a girl and the second was a boy. The wife stated that the first acts of abuse were immediate upon the marriage. Once the couple was in Brooklyn, she estimated that her husband acted out violently toward her monthly in the beginning, but increasing to weekly when they moved to the house on Staten Island. The wife stated that she did not tell anyone about the abuse because she is Indian and in her culture, it is shameful to discuss problems from a marriage with anyone else.
While she was pregnant with her first child, the wife was abused by her husband repeatedly. He would pull her hair and push her to the floor. He slapped her frequently if things were not to his liking. She stated that she learned that if she “kept quiet and didn’t say anything” that she would get some relief from the abuse. (N. R., 7/26/10, P83) She testified that the domestic violence continued through her second pregnancy. The wife would frequently have to call out sick from work because her face was bruised and her eyes swollen. On December of 2002, she filed a petition for a limited Order of Protection. The wife stated that she could not take the physical and verbal abuse from her husband anymore; however, she did not ask the Family Court to exclude the husband from the house. On July 9, 2003 that changed.
On July 9th while the wife was getting ready for work, her youngest daughter told her that she had seen her father taking papers out of her mother’s car. The wife confronted her husband and told him to give her back the documents which were important. He was enraged and they had a verbal argument. She was hesitant to leave for work that day because she was afraid for her child. She eventually convinced herself that it was OK and she left for work.
When she returned home from work, her youngest daughter was covered with bruises. The child told her mother that her father had beaten her for “snitching” on him about the papers. The wife immediately filed a Petition with the courts for a full stay away Order of Protection. The order was granted and the husband was evicted from the family home.
When the wife filed for divorce, many other situations were revealed to the courts about the level of domestic abuse in the home. Some of the incidents were quite severe. In one of these incidents, the husband kicked the youngest daughter for not turning off the television fast enough and going down stairs for breakfast. When she came running down the stairs later she was crying and said that her finger was hurting. Her mother took her to the doctor and they x-rayed the finger. It was broken.
It has now been brought to the court’s attention that since his eviction from the family home, the husband has been stalking his family. He follows the wife to and from work. He lurks around the house at night throwing rocks at the windows and knocking on the door and then running. The wife has filed numerous petitions for Orders of Protection because of the stalking. Still the courts decided that the children should have visitation with their father. The visitation was to be supervised. The children did not want to go. The psychologist who was appointed by the courts to supervise the visitation said that the visits were disastrous. She stated that the time was wasted by the husband who did not try to rebuild his relationships with his children. He used the time to criticize the wife and argue with the children about their court testimony and accusations. The last meeting ended with the children running from the room in tears. This professional advised that she felt that forcing these children to have visitation with the husband would be a mistake.
Since 2003, the children have lived with their mother in the family home on Staten Island. They are happy and are doing well at school. They remember some if not all of the abuse at the hands of their father and are adamant that they do not want to have any kind of a relationship with him. The only frightening thing in their lives is the threat of court orders and visitation. The children are now in their teens. Their mother feels that they are mature enough to make their own decisions about what kind of relationship they want with their father.
Their father has filed another Petition to force the children to have visitation with him. He states that if they just had to sit in the same room with him for a little while that they would change their minds and want to be with him. The court feels that the children have made their preferences known. The fact that the husband refuses to accept the desires of the children to sever this relationship is indicative of his narcissistic personality. He is using the court system as another way to harass his family. The court finds that he is no longer allowed to request petitions without prior authorization from the courts so that he cannot harass them any longer. It further denies his Petition for visitation. The children have made their choice known. The father’s continued allegations that the mother is keeping the children from him holds no merit. It is clear to the court that the father has alienated his children by his own actions alone.
Issues of law are constantly changing. A person who is not specifically trained in the law cannot begin to know what all of their rights are without the assistance of a professional. Here at Steven Bilkis and Associates, we provide New York Order of Protection Attorneys, New York Domestic Violence Lawyers, New York Assault Attorneys, and New York Criminal lawyers. New York Family Lawyers will stand by you and ensure that your rights are protected. New York Personal Injury Attorneys can argue your side and make sure that you and your loved ones are considered. We make sure that you are rightfully awarded compensation for your suffering.
Stephen Bilkis & Associates with its Domestic Violence Lawyers has convenient offices throughout the New York Metropolitan area including Corona, New York. Our Personal Injury Attorneys can provide you with advice to guide you through difficult situations. Without a Domestic Violence Lawyer you could lose precious compensation to help with your medical bills and the trauma to you and your loved ones following such a frightening experience. This is true even if the Attorney for the assailant has not adequately made their case. In addition to Personal Injury Law, Stephen Bilkis and Associates can recommend Criminal Lawyers who will protect your rights if you are ever arrested.